Posts Tagged ‘bullshit’

What’s Wrong: the internet 15 years later

So this guy in 1995 wrote about why the internet will suck. This article was reprinted and reblogged and is going around the web right now and a lot of assholes are feeling pretty smug about “how wrong this guy was” and how the internet is actually quite awesome now. Hold the fuck on for a second, and read the article, and think about it. This guy definitely was not wrong on most of his ideas, and no one should feel good about that. The internet does still suck in pretty much all the ways he describes.

The author immediately refers to the internet (the 1995 internet, mind you) as “trendy and oversold”. It still fucking is. Trendy? See: Twitter. Oversold? See: Google. A lot of what he says the futurists predicted have not happened presently, and what small steps we made (like internet video conferencing and Second Life) are relegated only to either academics (whose careers rely on them) or the most cutting-edge corporations (who don’t mind dumping money on trendy things to appeal to their employees).

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What’s Wrong: Empire State of Fuck

I don’t really know what’s wrong with the world today, but here’s a place to start:

Ugh. I’ve listened to this song a couple times since it came out and I’ve largely avoided it because it makes me very depressed. I didn’t really know why, I just felt a pain in my gut when I heard those lyrics and that pseudo-R&B beat and poor old Alicia Keys’ voice. Unfortunately, I’ll analyze this a bit.

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education: encyclopedia dramatica

[education is a weekly (or once in awhile) post about one or two worthwhile links. sites you should visit, see, hear, just generally experience and appreciate and learn from. I'll write a brief "WHY SHOULD YOU CARE?" along with each one. think about it. analyze it. do you like it? do you not? I want to educate you; as in the latin verb educo, to lead forth, as in I'm leading you away from my site. Hahaha.]

ED is important. It’s a living, breathing Traité de bave et d’éternité. Forget MTV, forget the New Yorker, forget CBGB, forget California, ED is the real culture purveyor of our time. It is an irrational order to the chaos of the internet, without giving in to cheap gimmicks like sites that just post memes or try to capture the moment. ED utilizes the chaos: absorbs it, interprets it, uses it to define itself. ED perpetuates itself without shame.

Put simply, Encyclopedia Dramatica is Wikipedia for trolls. It also focuses primarily on internet culture. It is written in the language of that culture: hateful, rude, awful, distasteful, and unforgiving humor. ED embraces the notion that the internet is not a good place and that’s okay. We prefer it to be a bad place. A celebration in decadence and irresponsibility. A rabbit hole unfit for Disney movies. A malevolent, unapologetic place mired with endless catacombs of self-referential nonsense. A dark foreboding forest to which there is no escape. I could go on with these metaphors, but I’ll try to hold back.

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On Hate

Recently I’ve been getting questions/comments like “why do you hate everything?” and “nobody likes you because you hate everything”. It’s easy for people to ask this and it’s also hard to disagree with their reasoning: I write a blog about hating things. It makes sense, superficially, to assume that I hate everything. I tear things down much faster than I praise them. I don’t usually like to write about things just because they’re awesome (unless they’re awesome because they bring the hate). It’s fairly logical to assume that, in general, I hate things, and that I’m a fairly negative person because of it.

However, I’m not writing this blog because I hate things, and I’m generally a lot more positive than my nonfiction would make it seem. I like the illusion that I hate everything, because hate can be provocative in a very basic sense. It weeds people out; those who can handle it, and those who cannot. If you can’t handle a little hate and provocative thinking in your life, there’s something wrong. I write these entries because I enjoy analyzing culture, thinking critically, and expanding on those thoughts through writing. (People have said that I like listening to myself talk: I don’t. However, I do like reading my own writing. I’m re-reading this sentence right now, and I’m pretty happy with myself. Does that make me an asshole? Probably.) This writing stems from desire, from enjoying things, from wanting to know more and to express myself. I come upon a topic and I do some research and I read a lot and I think a bit and then I write. Hate is just the easily-accessible platform these ideas orbit: it’s the lowest common denominator.

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Multiplayer Sucks

Let’s forget for a moment that games are supposed to be fun. Fuck that. I’m going to argue on the basis that contemporary games are striving for one thing: respect as a medium, like film or poetry. Modern video games should want to be experiences, they should want to be more than just button-mashing. Hell, most contemporary games cost three times as much as a movie, contain ten times more content, and cost more people and more time to make. I’d be willing to contend that there is an even bigger independent side of video games than there is to the film industry, since making games is easier and more accessible now than making independent movies. Anybody can get ahold of a copy of Flash or Processing and make a game in a few days if they want to. A lot of people do (and there are a lot of shitty flash games because of it).

But there’s something killing games more than all the shitty flash games combined, and that’s multiplayer. Not multiplayer as a general concept, no, but rather the way multiplayer is driving the creation and marketing of games. Today, the best-selling and most far-reaching games are multiplayer-focused. Modern Warfare 2. The Halo trilogy. World of Warcraft. This is what’s killing the future of games, and it’s the same mistake movies made so long ago, an error that I hoped video games would learn from. But greedy people are everywhere, and video games turned big and corporate very quickly. The formula is simple, and we can painfully see it all the time at the box office: make a movie that has a highly marketable and simple plot and then make sequels. Video games are falling into the same formula.

People have praised games like Modern Warfare 2 and movies like The Dark Knight because while they were big-budget highly-marketable titles which made lots of money, they took risks or were generally unconventional. Immediately what springs to mind are the whole ideas of a superhero movie being successful and the now-infamous terrorist mission. Critics love this shit. They say these films and games deserve to make all the money, because they’re close to art. I fail to see what makes the MW2 civilian slaughter mission anything close to art. I read a similar critical review on Destructoid or something, but I’ll reiterate the point again, and with a broader focus: the whole point of video games and what sets it apart is the interactivity of it. I, as a player, have the power of choice. I control a character. But nowhere in the process of killing civilians in an airport can I choose to do anything else. There is no interactive narrative, just a linear sequence of events. However, most people ignore this and just go online to play the multiplayer.

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